Having a flow to your toddlers day is so important especially if they were used to going to a daycare/Montessori/school. My experience of 'scheduled activities' vs 'no schedule' days, what we do and all that fun stuff.
How are you coping wfh + toddler at home?
I feel pandemic is a nightmare for parents with toddler age kids. They are still dependent on you for so many things and need so much connection throughout the day. They may not understand the reason for you to be in a meeting, or in front of a laptop (or using mobile for calls and messaging coworkers). The "office hours" feels like the major chunk of the day, (even though it is just 8 hours). It's tough. At least we have faced different challenges every few weeks, sharing one such challenge.
In this post, I would like to talk about my experiment with
Having scheduled activities throughout the day (2 weeks)
Just letting him be on his own and do what he wants (1 week)
The former idea, of having a schedule helped us a lot more, than not having one.
What I felt were the positive's of having scheduled activity day
Bubu had sense of time. He knew what to expect next after the activity he was currently doing.
He had lesser meltdowns and tantrums. Eg: He now knows after lunch is nap time. So he will not throw a tantrum or try to escape it.
More peaceful night sleep. He gets a lot of variety of activities through the day, including workouts. Hence making him more satisfied, happy, content and a peaceful sleeper.
The later idea of let him be, and do his own thing I feel didn't work for us because:-
He would sometimes do things that were not appropriate for that time which lead to affect him negatively. For example: pretend playing for too long and then wanting to jump and run during bed time. Or skipping naps and being too cranky throughout the day.
He would feel the need to connect every 15 minutes, which meant I got no work done.
Loads of tantrums and meltdowns as Bubu's time and mine were not aligning.
He started having nightmares/dreams that would disrupt his sleep and he would cry in the middle of the night. (Sidenote: Apart from having a scheduled day we also stopped discussing about corona related news, lack of grocery delivery slots etc. in front of him.)
And later to the tail end of that week Bubu just quit naps and was sleeping between 11 AM - 1 AM midnight and only for 6 - 7 hours.
This week was very tough on us, we got tired, drained. Sleepless nights lead to less productivity next day at work+home and being peaceful + respectful parent felt like hardwork. Not to forget, we were more concerned on the number of sleep hours Bubu was getting and decided to go back to a activity schedule. It worked like a charm. In a day or two he was back to his sleeping pattern as well as a much happier toddler.
Sharing our schedule to give an idea of what we do through the day. It's not a timetable, but a flow of sorts, so our day has a rhythm. Its a flow as each activity will last whatever time Bubu decides it will that day.
Eat and sleep times are fixed, or we deal with a very hangry/unhappy toddler. Most of the activities as suggested by Genius Baby class. More details on them at the end of the schedule.
Day start (7:00 AM - 8:30 AM ish)
Wake up - Cuddle time (10 - 15 mins)
Breakfast + math, language, visualization activities
Morning (8:30 AM - 10:00 AM ish)
Creative time Art / craft / play Play with toys is still creative in our home. We have all open ended toys that allow creative thinking like magna tiles, Grimms rainbow, blocks, lego duplo, cooking set + magnetic produce, teepee + hats (pretend play), music instruments and small world play like peg people, cars, animals etc.
Help with home chores (30 mins) - optional This is optional, somedays Bubu will help with all, somedays few. Bubu has been helping since he could walk with unloading dishwasher, put clothes in dryer, vacuum. During the shutdown I thought him to fold laundry and keep them in the right baskets/drawers. Had to involve him so these activities get done and we have a functional home. Bubu loves to help and feels like a contributing member of the family.
Nature time (10:00 AM - 11:00 AM ish) Walk/ cycle / scoot car outside on the sidewalk. Earlier I would do a 20 minute video call with my mom and then go for the walk. Now Bubu seems to get bored of the video call's (as we were video calling both set of parents everyday since the pandemic). Now I will just catch up with my mom during our walk and couple days Bubu will video call.
Sensory play time (11:00 AM - 11:30 AM ish) This gives me some time of peace. I will write a separate blog post in more details about sensory play and how to use it to your benefit.
Noon
Lunch time (11:30 AM - 12:15 PM fixed)
Nap time (12:30 PM - 2:30 PM fixed)
Afternoon (2:30 PM - 5:00 PM ish)
Cuddle time
Snack time
Active play The idea is to do some play to burn the energy like cricket, football, frisbee, , catch, blindman bluff, tag, etc.
Another Nature time. Same thing scoot car/cycle/walk for 1 hour.
Evening
Dance time (5:00 PM - 5:30 PM fixed) We do this with my sister aka "Mau" aka "Maushi". Its just a video call. We pick 3 songs play them on youtube (with our calls on mute mode) and enjoy dancing/zumba together. Plus I get a workout too. If Mau is busy that day then just me and Devavrat do it together. To be honest, we haven't started screen time yet and I was skeptical about playing zumba workout videos at first. Bubu was not inclined to dancing until we started this. After three weeks of continuous dancing, he now will sings his own songs and dances to them. That's such a beautiful change, I don't regret using screen as a tool for this activity. He knows that this activity lasts for those 3-4 dances and then the TV is off, he still has not shown signs of addiction, . Bubu has also grown closer to Mau because of this activity.
Independent play or sensory play again (5:30 PM - 6:00 PM ish)
Dinner (6:00 PM - 7:00 PM fixed)
Day end
Call with my partners parents. (7:00 PM - 7:30 PM ish) Now we moved it to a few times a week. Again like I mentioned it was getting too much for Bubu and he wasn't enjoying it.
If we don't call then he continues to do some independent play.
Wind down time begins with bath and pray. (7:45 PM - 8:00 PM fixed)
Read two to three books + sleep (8:00 PM - 10:00 PM) Our sleep time moved from Bubu sleeping between 8 - 9 PM to sleeping between 9 - 10 PM. It had gone worse for three days when he was sleeping between 11 PM - 1 AM. But this schedule helped to get life back in place.
I have given a glimpse of the activities we do. I haven't gone in the details of the activity, how to or techniques, why do these activities, its importance. The activity's are inspired by this wonderful parenting class I attended last September 2019. It's a virtual class. Visit www.wonderlives.org to know more.
The one I attend is called Genius babies Joyous parents (GBJP) and can be found here, http://www.wonderlives.org/gbjp-landing-page-2.php. This helps you understand your child and spend quality time actually imparting and being a catalyst in shaping some core intelligences at their best age. And the best part is its all play based activities, not the boring traditional parroting like you get in most academic schools. I highly recommend to check them out its totally worth it.
There is so much value the Genius Baby Joyous Parents added to our schedule. I am not worried of is my child missing out if he isn't going to school. This has given me the power to carve the perfect set of activities to keep his mind engaged throughout the day. At the same time I am confident I am probably adding more value than a school would.
PS: One thing I would like to mention is I get only 50% office work done during the day. I catch up after Bubu sleeps at night. We don't have a choice as my partner is very packed with meeting all day. But I am sure we all are struggling during this time; to cope with parenting + wfh + home chores + cooking. We all are doing 3 - 4 full time jobs here. Personally in my case, I feel the difference is I am really enjoying my time with Bubu in the day and I feel satisfied I am doing things that will add value to his growth.
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